Scott was unable to get today off work, but was able to get his first mornings off... so he is coming with me to Edmonton!! I am so excited for this adventure, and to visit my friends there. They are all awesome people! I just can't wait.
I will not be weighing myself at all this week, which is going to be hard, but I am confident I can make the proper choices to stick with my diet. The hotel we are staying at has a kitchen, so that will make things VERY easy. This week I am shooting for at least 3 lbs lost. If I could do more, great... I will not beat myself up if I don't make this goal. Ultimately, I just want to not gain. Sodium is my enemy!!! But I drink a lot of water, so it should be ok.
I have been struggling with 0 appetite and today is the second day in a row, that I didn't want to eat anything. I had to force myself to eat every morsel of food today, and I feel blah now. I don't know if it is just in my head, and I am feeling guilty for eating anything... or if it is just my body not being hungry. It doesn't make sense. I will be asking at HM when I get back about this, because it is starting to worry me.
I am planning on doing an insane workout tonight, it is supposed to burn 1000 calories in 70 minutes. HOLY!!! I am scared LOL.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 26, 2011
Challenges.
Every Monday and Friday I go into HM and they ask me if I am anticipating any challenges for the weekend, or if I had any challenges on the weekend. IE: Birthday parties, BBQ's. I haven't had any real challenges since my birthday weekend. But this next week is going to be hard. I am taking a trip to visit some awesome people, and take some pictures in Edmonton. I am staying with a dear friend (who is so incredible to put up with me :) ).
I am going to try my best to NOT eat out, and stay on my diet. It is possible, just going to be a challenge. I have had challenges with my appetite, I go from extreme hunger where I just want to snack, to having a day like today where I have absolutely 0 appetite. I seriously am not hungry today at all, and have forced myself to eat every stitch of food that has entered my mouth.
I have these days of no appetite often, and usually they are accompanied by a day of stress. I don't have stress really, except for the stress of the roadtrip I am about to take, with a 3 year old.... all by ourselves. GOOD LORD WHAT AM I THINKING!!! When I have a super bad stress day, I just want to gobble down chocolate and pepsi. But that won't get me anywhere.
I went to HM today... .8 down!!! Hooray!! I am so excited to see the number go down. I know I sound like a broken record, but I don't care LOL. I am proud of myself.
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 211
Weight lost: 12.8 lbs
Inches lost: 12.25
I am going to try my best to NOT eat out, and stay on my diet. It is possible, just going to be a challenge. I have had challenges with my appetite, I go from extreme hunger where I just want to snack, to having a day like today where I have absolutely 0 appetite. I seriously am not hungry today at all, and have forced myself to eat every stitch of food that has entered my mouth.
I have these days of no appetite often, and usually they are accompanied by a day of stress. I don't have stress really, except for the stress of the roadtrip I am about to take, with a 3 year old.... all by ourselves. GOOD LORD WHAT AM I THINKING!!! When I have a super bad stress day, I just want to gobble down chocolate and pepsi. But that won't get me anywhere.
I went to HM today... .8 down!!! Hooray!! I am so excited to see the number go down. I know I sound like a broken record, but I don't care LOL. I am proud of myself.
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 211
Weight lost: 12.8 lbs
Inches lost: 12.25
Sunday, September 25, 2011
The dreaded Shelf Gut...
if you aren't a mother, you probably don't know what the "shelf gut" is... It is where your belly juts out above your crotch. It is worse when you have a c-section, which I did. My belly juts out just above my section scar. It is something that I absolutely am ashamed of on my body, and I am so envious of the mothers that bounced back after giving birth.
I am so scared it wont go away, and I will have a fat flap, not unlike the one that Adam Sandler had in the movie "Click". Can it go away? I know there are exercises I can do to tone, but how can you tone skin?
I know that drinking lots of water helps with your skin elasticity. Drinking water is something that I always hated, but I am getting more than my recommended intake every day.
I will do whatever I have to to make that thing go away... I would love to avoid surgery, but one day I would love to have a breast lift. Wouldn't it be nice to have a skinny body, and boobs that stood high as they did when I was 18 LOL! One can dream. Maybe when I am done having kids, that is something I will look into.
I really cannot stop staring at my side profile. Every time I walk by the mirror, I turn to the side, because I cannot believe how my body is changing. 13 lbs doesn't seem like a lot, but it really is in the grand scheme of things. I try to imagine how my body will look when I reach my goal. I don't even remember what 140 looks like on me! What size will my clothes be? What size will my ass be? HAHA! I am becoming so vain LOL, but I will not change who I am for anyone.
I watched this show that was on FOX many years ago called "The Swan", The ladies went on there, and received plastic surgery so they would no longer have "imperfections". I read that the majority of the ladies that were on that show, and got the transformations went home, and were completely different people and most of their relationships broke up. They felt they no longer had to settle for the spouse they had, because they were skinny, and beautiful.
I can't imagine losing all this weight and then becoming an asshole to those I love. It won't happen. I have heard it from a couple people that this may happen. I am changing my body, not my mind LOL.
Sorry if this post seems kind of all over the place. It makes sense in my head. I SWEAR!! HAHA
Oh well, tomorrow is HM day. Think thin!! Think thin!!
I am so scared it wont go away, and I will have a fat flap, not unlike the one that Adam Sandler had in the movie "Click". Can it go away? I know there are exercises I can do to tone, but how can you tone skin?
I know that drinking lots of water helps with your skin elasticity. Drinking water is something that I always hated, but I am getting more than my recommended intake every day.
I will do whatever I have to to make that thing go away... I would love to avoid surgery, but one day I would love to have a breast lift. Wouldn't it be nice to have a skinny body, and boobs that stood high as they did when I was 18 LOL! One can dream. Maybe when I am done having kids, that is something I will look into.
I really cannot stop staring at my side profile. Every time I walk by the mirror, I turn to the side, because I cannot believe how my body is changing. 13 lbs doesn't seem like a lot, but it really is in the grand scheme of things. I try to imagine how my body will look when I reach my goal. I don't even remember what 140 looks like on me! What size will my clothes be? What size will my ass be? HAHA! I am becoming so vain LOL, but I will not change who I am for anyone.
I watched this show that was on FOX many years ago called "The Swan", The ladies went on there, and received plastic surgery so they would no longer have "imperfections". I read that the majority of the ladies that were on that show, and got the transformations went home, and were completely different people and most of their relationships broke up. They felt they no longer had to settle for the spouse they had, because they were skinny, and beautiful.
I can't imagine losing all this weight and then becoming an asshole to those I love. It won't happen. I have heard it from a couple people that this may happen. I am changing my body, not my mind LOL.
Sorry if this post seems kind of all over the place. It makes sense in my head. I SWEAR!! HAHA
Oh well, tomorrow is HM day. Think thin!! Think thin!!
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Another day
and another 1.8 lbs down. As I was making the 35 minute drive to HM yesterday, my stomach was in knots. I was so scared I would be up again. I got there, and she said "How do you feel today?" I said, "Nervous!!". Why is it when I go there, and I am all confident that I have lost weight, I feel skinnier, I am up... and when I am so nervous and feel bloated and like I have't lost, I have lost? It is so weird, and it is making it so hard to not weigh myself at home.
The scale is still in the RV, and will stay there... I weighed myself on my moms scale, which isn't electronic... just to see the difference between hers and mine, and hers said I was 5 lbs lighter than I actually was. I like hers HAHA!.
Yesterday, I burned 1286 calories (according to MFP) moving and stacking 2 cords of wood for my mom. With the help of my bestie, Scott, my mom and even Caiden, it took us just under 2 hours. Man that was hard work. My body is soooo sore today, so I think today will be a rest day.
I also took a bad spill at my inlaws house and landed on my hip. EFF did that ever hurt. I had a case of the two left feet LOL. Oh well accidents happen (as the song from Thomas the Tank Engine keeps ringing through my head).
So my stats are this now:
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 211.8
Weight lost: 12 lbs
Inches lost: 12.25
With 210 on the horizon, and 200 not far behind there. I am getting incredibly excited to see a number on the scale that I have not seen in so many years.
My goal is 199 by October 15th. I CAN DO IT!!!
The scale is still in the RV, and will stay there... I weighed myself on my moms scale, which isn't electronic... just to see the difference between hers and mine, and hers said I was 5 lbs lighter than I actually was. I like hers HAHA!.
Yesterday, I burned 1286 calories (according to MFP) moving and stacking 2 cords of wood for my mom. With the help of my bestie, Scott, my mom and even Caiden, it took us just under 2 hours. Man that was hard work. My body is soooo sore today, so I think today will be a rest day.
I also took a bad spill at my inlaws house and landed on my hip. EFF did that ever hurt. I had a case of the two left feet LOL. Oh well accidents happen (as the song from Thomas the Tank Engine keeps ringing through my head).
So my stats are this now:
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 211.8
Weight lost: 12 lbs
Inches lost: 12.25
With 210 on the horizon, and 200 not far behind there. I am getting incredibly excited to see a number on the scale that I have not seen in so many years.
My goal is 199 by October 15th. I CAN DO IT!!!
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Feeling better..
Yes, I feel better today. New day, new month with Herbal Magic. I have these weak moments when I feel like I am not making progress and I feel so pressured to be losing the weight. Don't get me wrong, I want this... more than I have wanted anything else in my life. I see others around me that are having great success on their various diets, and it makes me long for this to happen faster. But that is unreasonable.
I have these moments where I just want to stay in bed and rest for the day, but I cannot do that, because Caiden won't let me, and also because of the drive to be a size I have not been since... maybe 1994-1995. That was a lifetime ago.
Today I said to myself I was going to let my body rest. So now I am going to go have a nap LOL. Tomorrow I will go back to HM, and I have to help my mom stack wood. So that will be my workout for the day HAHA.
Until tomorrow...
I have these moments where I just want to stay in bed and rest for the day, but I cannot do that, because Caiden won't let me, and also because of the drive to be a size I have not been since... maybe 1994-1995. That was a lifetime ago.
Today I said to myself I was going to let my body rest. So now I am going to go have a nap LOL. Tomorrow I will go back to HM, and I have to help my mom stack wood. So that will be my workout for the day HAHA.
Until tomorrow...
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
One Month in...
Well today was my one month anniversary. I don't even know how I feel about today, I am really just blah. I went in and weighed myself at HM and am up .4lbs. I know that isn't a lot, and womens bodies can fluctuate blah blah blah, but it just kinda took the wind out of my sail.
OK I am ahead of the game, my projected weight loss was 8lbs for the month and I am 10lbs. Pretty flipping good!
/pats self on back!
BUT!!! I was shooting for 200 or 199lbs rather by October 1st and I don't think it will happen. It feels like the harder I work at it, the less I lose. Seriously, on the weekend, I took a rest day. Did not work out at all (Other than walking on the beach and around town) I lost 3.2 lbs. yesterday I worked my ass off and I am slightly up.
I am not whining... well yes I am LOL. I am so hard on myself. Why am I so hard on myself? I am seeing awesome results so far and I have only small amounts of regrets (being the lack of chocolate haha) that I started this journey.
They started asking me today about my goals, and where I want to be on each anniversary date. I really wish they would stop this, it is putting me under so much unneeded pressure. I will do it, I will succeed, and I will not fall behind. I will not allow myself to have to fight to catch up. The 2 lbs a week is reasonable right? But what if I reach a plateau and I cannot pass it?
These thoughts alone are driving me to push myself further than I should go. Because my body is screaming, STOP!!!! I am so exhausted, and even on the rest days, I cannot stop. I never thought I would be so obsessed with exercise... because well, I hate it with a passion.
I should be proud of what I have accomplished so far, instead I am ashamed that I let myself get this fat. I guess I am just having a bad day. Stupid women hormones LOLOLOLOL!!!
Well these are my stats so far:
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 213.2
Weight lost: 10 lbs
Inches lost: 12.25
OK I am ahead of the game, my projected weight loss was 8lbs for the month and I am 10lbs. Pretty flipping good!
/pats self on back!
BUT!!! I was shooting for 200 or 199lbs rather by October 1st and I don't think it will happen. It feels like the harder I work at it, the less I lose. Seriously, on the weekend, I took a rest day. Did not work out at all (Other than walking on the beach and around town) I lost 3.2 lbs. yesterday I worked my ass off and I am slightly up.
I am not whining... well yes I am LOL. I am so hard on myself. Why am I so hard on myself? I am seeing awesome results so far and I have only small amounts of regrets (being the lack of chocolate haha) that I started this journey.
They started asking me today about my goals, and where I want to be on each anniversary date. I really wish they would stop this, it is putting me under so much unneeded pressure. I will do it, I will succeed, and I will not fall behind. I will not allow myself to have to fight to catch up. The 2 lbs a week is reasonable right? But what if I reach a plateau and I cannot pass it?
These thoughts alone are driving me to push myself further than I should go. Because my body is screaming, STOP!!!! I am so exhausted, and even on the rest days, I cannot stop. I never thought I would be so obsessed with exercise... because well, I hate it with a passion.
I should be proud of what I have accomplished so far, instead I am ashamed that I let myself get this fat. I guess I am just having a bad day. Stupid women hormones LOLOLOLOL!!!
Well these are my stats so far:
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 213.2
Weight lost: 10 lbs
Inches lost: 12.25
Monday, September 19, 2011
My first Magnet!
I have resisted the urge to go and weigh myself... for two days! I didn't really work out, although my photoshoot on Saturday had me trucking around the beach, and yesterday the fam and I went for a huge long walk around town. I woke up this morning and I was anxious and feeling like my weight loss was not progressing as fast as I wanted it to, so I told Scott to get ready and we were going to go to HM ASAP! I wanted to get weighed so I didn't obsess about it all day, and I didn't get upset. I felt fatter than I had in days this morning.
So we went to HM, and she asked me how I was doing, and I said I was nervous I would be up... I stepped on that scale and DUN DUN DUN... 213.2! WHAT??!?!?!?!? Did I read that correctly??? Yes I did! and that puts me at 10.4 lbs lost in just under 4 weeks. With my month anniversary on Wednesday, my projected weight loss for the month is only 8lbs. I am already ahead of the game. Shooting to reach 12 lbs lost by Wednesday. It is only 1.6 lbs, I think I can do it. That would be stupendous.
So she gave me my first little magnet that said 10 lbs lost! I am excited to fill up my fridge with these stupid ugly little things. (I hate green HAHA).
Only triumphs from now on! Failure is not in my vocabulary!
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 213.2
Weight lost: 10.4 lbs
Inches lost: 8.9
So we went to HM, and she asked me how I was doing, and I said I was nervous I would be up... I stepped on that scale and DUN DUN DUN... 213.2! WHAT??!?!?!?!? Did I read that correctly??? Yes I did! and that puts me at 10.4 lbs lost in just under 4 weeks. With my month anniversary on Wednesday, my projected weight loss for the month is only 8lbs. I am already ahead of the game. Shooting to reach 12 lbs lost by Wednesday. It is only 1.6 lbs, I think I can do it. That would be stupendous.
So she gave me my first little magnet that said 10 lbs lost! I am excited to fill up my fridge with these stupid ugly little things. (I hate green HAHA).
Only triumphs from now on! Failure is not in my vocabulary!
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 213.2
Weight lost: 10.4 lbs
Inches lost: 8.9
Sunday, September 18, 2011
Resisting the temptation
The other night I put the scale out in the RV. I locked the door, and I haven't been out there since. It is soooo hard. I just want to go out there and see my progress. I am starting to see the changes in my body, even though it isn't much weight off me. Even last time I lost weight, I really didn't notice it on myself, but those around me were quick to ask me if I had lost weight. I cannot wait until I get MUCH slimmer, and those people who have not seen me in a while are so blown away they are speechless. I can dream HAHA.
I am feeling thinner the last few days, although I have been trying to give my body a few rest days. No dice yesterday, the photoshoot I was doing had me trucking all over the beach. So today is my rest day. I will NOT work out today. I won't know if I gained or lost until I go to HM tomorrow. it is so stressful! Resisting the temptation of going out and weighing myself is going to be harder than I thought.
I tried bumping my calories and slowing down my workout because a couple people told me that as you hit some of the stable spots in your weight gain (ie. 215 I was at 215 for a long time before it increased). It is the same coming down. So my body seems to be getting used to the diet, and taking its sweet ass time to get rid of all that DISGUSTING FAT!!!
We will see tomorrow. fingers crossed!!
I am feeling thinner the last few days, although I have been trying to give my body a few rest days. No dice yesterday, the photoshoot I was doing had me trucking all over the beach. So today is my rest day. I will NOT work out today. I won't know if I gained or lost until I go to HM tomorrow. it is so stressful! Resisting the temptation of going out and weighing myself is going to be harder than I thought.
I tried bumping my calories and slowing down my workout because a couple people told me that as you hit some of the stable spots in your weight gain (ie. 215 I was at 215 for a long time before it increased). It is the same coming down. So my body seems to be getting used to the diet, and taking its sweet ass time to get rid of all that DISGUSTING FAT!!!
We will see tomorrow. fingers crossed!!
Saturday, September 17, 2011
Rough day...
This post is not about my weight loss. It is only 8:16am and I am already having a rough day. It is the 6th anniversary of my husbands death. I am happy with my life, and I love my family so much. But I still can't help but feel like I was robbed sometimes.
he had this laugh that was so infectious, you couldn't help but laugh along with him. Everyone said it will hurt less over time, but it doesn't really. On this day every year, I just have this pain in my heart that I feel like will never go away.
I was a completely different person when he was around. His death and all the heartache since then has made me... I don't know. People tell me they cannot believe how amazing and strong I am, but on days like today I want to laugh at them. I am not strong. I am a weak, blubbering idiot.
I have a photoshoot today, that I booked for today so I could keep busy and try to stay focused. We will see how that goes.
I miss you Les! <3
he had this laugh that was so infectious, you couldn't help but laugh along with him. Everyone said it will hurt less over time, but it doesn't really. On this day every year, I just have this pain in my heart that I feel like will never go away.
I was a completely different person when he was around. His death and all the heartache since then has made me... I don't know. People tell me they cannot believe how amazing and strong I am, but on days like today I want to laugh at them. I am not strong. I am a weak, blubbering idiot.
I have a photoshoot today, that I booked for today so I could keep busy and try to stay focused. We will see how that goes.
I miss you Les! <3
Friday, September 16, 2011
Victory!
I did it!!, I put the scale in the RV and I will attempt to not weigh myself until Monday when I go into HM. I can do this! I was getting too obsessed. Down .8 lbs today when I went to HM, I am ahead of where I should be at week three! I feel awesome!
Bestie and I walked 7km today. It was a brisk walk, and the wind was blowing. I am not liking the cold at all. Just have to say that the harbourside walk all the way to Brechin boat ramp in Nanaimo is nice, but not my favorite. Probably the only walk in Nanaimo that I would consider walking by myself.
The diet is getting much easier, as I am quickly learning the serving size per portion. That is nice to know without having to check my list every time... Saves me some hassle. Eventually I wont even need that thing, I hope soon.
I also hacked my hair off today, and it feels incredible. NO MORE PONYTAILS FOR ME!!!! I am so prepared for the new me to emerge. I just wish it could happen a tad quicker. But I am working on it. I am shooting for my 1 month anniversary date and being 12 lbs lost. That would be an incredible feeling. (I probably lost about 1 or 2 lbs with my hair cut).
I can do it!!
oh and here is my new haircut
Bestie and I walked 7km today. It was a brisk walk, and the wind was blowing. I am not liking the cold at all. Just have to say that the harbourside walk all the way to Brechin boat ramp in Nanaimo is nice, but not my favorite. Probably the only walk in Nanaimo that I would consider walking by myself.
The diet is getting much easier, as I am quickly learning the serving size per portion. That is nice to know without having to check my list every time... Saves me some hassle. Eventually I wont even need that thing, I hope soon.
I also hacked my hair off today, and it feels incredible. NO MORE PONYTAILS FOR ME!!!! I am so prepared for the new me to emerge. I just wish it could happen a tad quicker. But I am working on it. I am shooting for my 1 month anniversary date and being 12 lbs lost. That would be an incredible feeling. (I probably lost about 1 or 2 lbs with my hair cut).
I can do it!!
oh and here is my new haircut
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Ouch!
I feel like I am stuck. So I am pushing myself beyond my limits. I feel like the weight will never come off, and everything I am doing is for nothing. My finish date is 271 days away. Seems like that is a lifetime to lose 78 more pounds. But it isn't and I feel like I am falling behind where I should be at my 3 week point. 2 lbs a week sounded very attainable, and after my first 3 weeks being so great, I am just stuck. Not gaining, not losing. What do I do?
I just did 1.5 hours of kick boxing and OMG I hurt. My pains have pains, and I am exhausted. How in the heck can I continue if I am so exhausted. Should I be pushing myself as hard as I am to get the weight off. I am not a quitter! I will succeed... I think.
I am planning on going for a LONG walk tomorrow. Not a challenging trail, but I have the option to make it a 7km walk or a 14km walk. I am opting for the 14km walk... But we will see what my bestie says as she is walking with me. I plan on walking briskly... I wish I could run, but alas, I have shitty knees and constant heel pain. Part of why I am doing this weight loss journey is so I can walk without being in pain with EVERY step. That is why it makes the walks so challenging, because my feet hurt... so much. I am hoping that with less weight on them, everything will be fine again.
The other part of why I want to succeed so bad, is so Caiden will have me around to see his milestones. (graduating, getting married, having babies). I want him to be able to have me come to school to pick him up and not have the other kids make fun of him because his mommy is a fat cow.
Plus, looking incredible in a bikini wouldn't be so bad. LOL.
I just did 1.5 hours of kick boxing and OMG I hurt. My pains have pains, and I am exhausted. How in the heck can I continue if I am so exhausted. Should I be pushing myself as hard as I am to get the weight off. I am not a quitter! I will succeed... I think.
I am planning on going for a LONG walk tomorrow. Not a challenging trail, but I have the option to make it a 7km walk or a 14km walk. I am opting for the 14km walk... But we will see what my bestie says as she is walking with me. I plan on walking briskly... I wish I could run, but alas, I have shitty knees and constant heel pain. Part of why I am doing this weight loss journey is so I can walk without being in pain with EVERY step. That is why it makes the walks so challenging, because my feet hurt... so much. I am hoping that with less weight on them, everything will be fine again.
The other part of why I want to succeed so bad, is so Caiden will have me around to see his milestones. (graduating, getting married, having babies). I want him to be able to have me come to school to pick him up and not have the other kids make fun of him because his mommy is a fat cow.
Plus, looking incredible in a bikini wouldn't be so bad. LOL.
Glad to have my little workout buddy and cheerleader with me today. He wouldn't let me quit my circuit training. Good Boy Caiden!!
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
My Obsession!!
I am becoming obsessed with the number on the scale. I weigh myself so many times a day, which makes me want to cry when I don't see the number that I want.
So I weigh myself after my morning pee, because that is the lightest I will be all day. I weigh myself 10 minutes later when I ... #2. WTF the number goes up!! lol I weigh myself after breakfast, lunch, dinner and before I go to bed.
How do I get past this obsession? I cut out the weighs after the meals, so just when I get up, and when I go to bed. I look at the number before bed as the most I will be all day, and seeing it be below 220 every night makes me feel awesome. Sets me up for the next day, knowing that it will be much less. But am I allowing my body to be fully at rest, in order to recuperate? So my challenge for the next few days (or the rest of my journey) is to write something in my blog or journal, something that I did awesome that day... instead of weighing myself. I won't weigh myself before bed, and will only weigh myself the days that I do not go into HM.
L at HM today told me she is proud of my accomplishments so far. That made me feel great and important. Like someone cares about this journey I am on.
I was disheartened to step on the scale this morning and the number went up slightly. Why? I ate very well yesterday, I did my exercise... although I didn't do my biggest loser workout, because I was exhausted. I don't consider this a bad thing, but I hate the feeling I have when I wake up and haven't lost. It makes me feel like I am failing... like I wont make my goal.
Is that silly?
So I weigh myself after my morning pee, because that is the lightest I will be all day. I weigh myself 10 minutes later when I ... #2. WTF the number goes up!! lol I weigh myself after breakfast, lunch, dinner and before I go to bed.
How do I get past this obsession? I cut out the weighs after the meals, so just when I get up, and when I go to bed. I look at the number before bed as the most I will be all day, and seeing it be below 220 every night makes me feel awesome. Sets me up for the next day, knowing that it will be much less. But am I allowing my body to be fully at rest, in order to recuperate? So my challenge for the next few days (or the rest of my journey) is to write something in my blog or journal, something that I did awesome that day... instead of weighing myself. I won't weigh myself before bed, and will only weigh myself the days that I do not go into HM.
L at HM today told me she is proud of my accomplishments so far. That made me feel great and important. Like someone cares about this journey I am on.
I was disheartened to step on the scale this morning and the number went up slightly. Why? I ate very well yesterday, I did my exercise... although I didn't do my biggest loser workout, because I was exhausted. I don't consider this a bad thing, but I hate the feeling I have when I wake up and haven't lost. It makes me feel like I am failing... like I wont make my goal.
Is that silly?
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
not much to say today...
BUT I am down again!!! Yippee! Every night I step on the scale, to see what my weight is, at the absolute highest it will be in the day. Last night and the night before it was under 220. Go me!!
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 215
Weight lost: 8.8lbs
Inches lost: 8.9
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 215
Weight lost: 8.8lbs
Inches lost: 8.9
Monday, September 12, 2011
Oh Happy day!!
I feel like I don't have much to write today. Although I went to HM today, and I was down 2.4 on their scale. Their scale was just about what mine said this morning. How is that for making me feel awesome!!! I do, I really feel awesome. I can do so much without being out of breath, and it will only get better.
I walked 10km today! HOLY!!! Also, when I started HM they were doing a step challenge (walking across Canada with our recorded steps) I was so far behind, and in just under 3 weeks I have risen to 3rd place in the leader standings! This is due in most part to my huge long walks I have been taking, and my workouts. It hurts, but as they say: no pain, no gain.
I have to say that every day this diet gets easier, and I am almost finding now, that I have too much food to eat in a day.
I have a plan to do a walk... called the parkway trail. With my bestie! Wait for this... it is 20KM. can we do it?? I think we can, and I am going to carry a backpack with 30 lbs on my back too. Oh yes I am! Maybe in a couple weeks! I will let you know if we can actually accomplish this goal!
I walked 10km today! HOLY!!! Also, when I started HM they were doing a step challenge (walking across Canada with our recorded steps) I was so far behind, and in just under 3 weeks I have risen to 3rd place in the leader standings! This is due in most part to my huge long walks I have been taking, and my workouts. It hurts, but as they say: no pain, no gain.
I have to say that every day this diet gets easier, and I am almost finding now, that I have too much food to eat in a day.
I have a plan to do a walk... called the parkway trail. With my bestie! Wait for this... it is 20KM. can we do it?? I think we can, and I am going to carry a backpack with 30 lbs on my back too. Oh yes I am! Maybe in a couple weeks! I will let you know if we can actually accomplish this goal!
Sunday, September 11, 2011
My progress so far
Going down down down
The number just keeps going down! It makes me so happy. Although I cannot help wanting it to go down faster. I am working my butt off to get under 200 by October 1st. Can I do it? I think I can, but I need to keep it up!
Last night I had a bad night. I grabbed a bottle of Dad's Root Beer (I bought the case the day before I started HM and haven't had any) and a bag of chocolate covered cherries. I was upset, and I needed some comfort food. I have no coping mechanism for my emotions anymore, junk was always that for me. I didn't drink it, or eat any chocolate. Thanks to Scott! I can't say whether I would have gone through with it... but my willpower definitely failed me last night.
Thank heavens I didn't, I stepped on the scale this morning (even though I was told to limit my time on the scale) and I am down just about 1 pound (my scales weight) and just over 2 pounds (their scales weight)!!!
So, My stomach is shrinking, I could barely finish dinner last night. This is a good thing! AND I hardly crave anything other than a glass of water! This is a wonderful feeling.
I would also like to acknowledge this date. September 11, 2001. I remember what I was doing when the towers were struck, and my heart goes out to every single person who lost their lives, lost their loved ones, and have health problems because of their sacrifice.
Until tomorrow :)
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 216.6
Weight lost: 7.2lbs
Inches lost: 6.5
Last night I had a bad night. I grabbed a bottle of Dad's Root Beer (I bought the case the day before I started HM and haven't had any) and a bag of chocolate covered cherries. I was upset, and I needed some comfort food. I have no coping mechanism for my emotions anymore, junk was always that for me. I didn't drink it, or eat any chocolate. Thanks to Scott! I can't say whether I would have gone through with it... but my willpower definitely failed me last night.
Thank heavens I didn't, I stepped on the scale this morning (even though I was told to limit my time on the scale) and I am down just about 1 pound (my scales weight) and just over 2 pounds (their scales weight)!!!
So, My stomach is shrinking, I could barely finish dinner last night. This is a good thing! AND I hardly crave anything other than a glass of water! This is a wonderful feeling.
I would also like to acknowledge this date. September 11, 2001. I remember what I was doing when the towers were struck, and my heart goes out to every single person who lost their lives, lost their loved ones, and have health problems because of their sacrifice.
Until tomorrow :)
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 216.6
Weight lost: 7.2lbs
Inches lost: 6.5
Saturday, September 10, 2011
Less food, Less weight
So since I started HM, I have been struggling with the diet. I have been feeling hungry all the time, and it is a feeling I am not used to, and do not enjoy. I know my stomach is starting to shrink, because my meal last night was small, and filled me up. For the first time in weeks, I was full after a meal. BOOYAAH!!!
Obviously it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you eat less food, you put on less weight, and/or lose weight. But getting on the mindset to not eat until I want to puke because I ate too much is sooooo hard.
For me, it is hard to have the right food on hand to fulfill my appetite, and my diet. Since I need protein in every meal, and I am limited as to what protein I can count as my protein, I am fearful that I might get very sick of the foods that I am really starting to enjoy.
I never thought it would be so much fun to go to the grocery store, and have a cart full of vegetables instead of the processed food I would previously fill my cart with.
I have been keeping track of my calories and exercise on My Fitness Pal, which has been a good tool in keeping me feeling like I have to be accountable for everything I eat and do. So helpful also to see the people on there, who had large starting weight numbers, and that have lost so much already.
I went to HM today and I didn't gain or lose since two days ago... shows you what a day of taking it easy (for the sake of my foot which is injured) does for you... so I am finishing this entry, and I am putting on my shoes and going to go work out for the next.... hmmmm.... I guess until Caiden wakes up from his nap.
Obviously it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if you eat less food, you put on less weight, and/or lose weight. But getting on the mindset to not eat until I want to puke because I ate too much is sooooo hard.
For me, it is hard to have the right food on hand to fulfill my appetite, and my diet. Since I need protein in every meal, and I am limited as to what protein I can count as my protein, I am fearful that I might get very sick of the foods that I am really starting to enjoy.
I never thought it would be so much fun to go to the grocery store, and have a cart full of vegetables instead of the processed food I would previously fill my cart with.
I have been keeping track of my calories and exercise on My Fitness Pal, which has been a good tool in keeping me feeling like I have to be accountable for everything I eat and do. So helpful also to see the people on there, who had large starting weight numbers, and that have lost so much already.
I went to HM today and I didn't gain or lose since two days ago... shows you what a day of taking it easy (for the sake of my foot which is injured) does for you... so I am finishing this entry, and I am putting on my shoes and going to go work out for the next.... hmmmm.... I guess until Caiden wakes up from his nap.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
The things we view as triumphs
I have been having a bad day. I stepped on the scale this morning and I was up... UP!!! I was so defeated and angry with myself. Even though I know it isn't me. I am sticking to the diet, I am taking the supplements. and I am not losing... just because of that stupid desert on my birthday. Or so I thought! I received some bad news on the way to HM this afternoon, and I broke down. I told her that I am struggling (not with cravings, or overeating) but struggling with the fact that I cannot binge eat when I am having a bad day.
I said I felt like I wasn't losing fast enough and wasn't seeing results. The more I work at it the less I lose. I walked 15km the other day and I didn't lose anything. I walked 9 yesterday and my scale said I gained.
She told me to get up on the scale, and see where we were at. I step on the scale, prepared for a giant number, and low and behold... the number was 1.8 pounds less than when I went there on Tuesday. YES!!!! So she told me to stop obsessing so much about the scale. What matters is what I am weighing on their scale.
I felt reassurance and I feel much better. I am going to abstain from weighing myself tomorrow and Saturday, and see what happens when I go back on Saturday. I am back to where I was weight wise before my birthday adventure. You better believe there will not be anymore deserts in my near future.
I said I felt like I wasn't losing fast enough and wasn't seeing results. The more I work at it the less I lose. I walked 15km the other day and I didn't lose anything. I walked 9 yesterday and my scale said I gained.
She told me to get up on the scale, and see where we were at. I step on the scale, prepared for a giant number, and low and behold... the number was 1.8 pounds less than when I went there on Tuesday. YES!!!! So she told me to stop obsessing so much about the scale. What matters is what I am weighing on their scale.
I felt reassurance and I feel much better. I am going to abstain from weighing myself tomorrow and Saturday, and see what happens when I go back on Saturday. I am back to where I was weight wise before my birthday adventure. You better believe there will not be anymore deserts in my near future.
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
A little bump...
Well, my birthday was wonderful. Scott took me to a resort and we spent the day at the spa! So incredible and relaxing. I had a wonderful time. It was incredibly hard to stay on my diet. BUT I had a desert on my birthday, and that has just knocked me on my ass. I went to Herbal Magic on my way back home, and I was up three pounds. I just wanted to cry.
When you think you are making the proper choices on a menu, you really aren't. That is why they recommend you NEVER eat out. Too much salt!! So I am back on track on the diet, eating the way I should again, and I did not gain or lose when I stepped on the scale this morning... well ok I was down .4 of a pound, it is hard to count that though.
I was really upset this morning when I stepped on that scale, I just said WHAT THE HELL! I walked 15 km yesterday, and I have walked all day today as well. I am stuck... why is the weight not moving? Am I burning fat, and building muscle? I cannot help but feel a little discouraged. But I know I am making the right choices... for example, I said no to the strawberry,raspberry cheese cake my mother in law made. It was hard, but I said no.
I am going to HM tomorrow. Fingers crossed the number is down! I need encouragement people!! HAHA
When you think you are making the proper choices on a menu, you really aren't. That is why they recommend you NEVER eat out. Too much salt!! So I am back on track on the diet, eating the way I should again, and I did not gain or lose when I stepped on the scale this morning... well ok I was down .4 of a pound, it is hard to count that though.
I was really upset this morning when I stepped on that scale, I just said WHAT THE HELL! I walked 15 km yesterday, and I have walked all day today as well. I am stuck... why is the weight not moving? Am I burning fat, and building muscle? I cannot help but feel a little discouraged. But I know I am making the right choices... for example, I said no to the strawberry,raspberry cheese cake my mother in law made. It was hard, but I said no.
I am going to HM tomorrow. Fingers crossed the number is down! I need encouragement people!! HAHA
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Victory is mine!!
If I just keep at it!! I am down another pound and a bit from yesterday! It is a wonderful feeling.
Last night was a rough night. I just wanted chocolate! The nights when Scott is working evenings are the worst. He isn't there to push me to say no, and sometimes my willpower (which I have always struggled with) just isn't enough.
I won't be able to go into HM until Wednesday, or Tuesday if I am lucky. I cant wait to step on that scale and see like 3 or 4 pounds less. I want to be under 200 so bad. The smallest I have ever gotten with my yo-yo dieting was 201. I was so close, and then it shot back up.
I have a bit of anxiety though... all I can think is when I get to my goal (which I will), what happens if I just cant keep it off? This scares me. Once I am in my stabilization phase and my maintenance phase, I am sure this anxiety will go away.
Every day when I see a little more weight gone, it just drives me to say no to junk food. Why do the ads on TV have to look sooooo freaking good.
If anyone is actually reading this, see you in a few days :D HAPPY LABOUR DAY!! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE!!! HAHA
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 216.4
Weight lost: 7.4lbs
Inches lost: 6.5
Last night was a rough night. I just wanted chocolate! The nights when Scott is working evenings are the worst. He isn't there to push me to say no, and sometimes my willpower (which I have always struggled with) just isn't enough.
I won't be able to go into HM until Wednesday, or Tuesday if I am lucky. I cant wait to step on that scale and see like 3 or 4 pounds less. I want to be under 200 so bad. The smallest I have ever gotten with my yo-yo dieting was 201. I was so close, and then it shot back up.
I have a bit of anxiety though... all I can think is when I get to my goal (which I will), what happens if I just cant keep it off? This scares me. Once I am in my stabilization phase and my maintenance phase, I am sure this anxiety will go away.
Every day when I see a little more weight gone, it just drives me to say no to junk food. Why do the ads on TV have to look sooooo freaking good.
If anyone is actually reading this, see you in a few days :D HAPPY LABOUR DAY!! and HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MEEEE!!! HAHA
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 216.4
Weight lost: 7.4lbs
Inches lost: 6.5
Saturday, September 3, 2011
How it works?
Perhaps I should shed some light on how Herbal Magic works and what it is. I have had many people ask me these questions.
So here goes.
First off is the diet. There are a few different programs you can do, and they will find one right for you based on your body.
I am on the QLP-2 program.
These are my portions for the day...
Breakfast: 1 protein, 1 starch, 1 healthy fat
snack: 1 fruit, 1 dairy
lunch: 1 protein, 1 starch, 2 vegetables
snack: 1 fruit
dinner: 1 protein, 2 veggies, 1 healthy fat
snack: 1 fruit, 1 free exchange.
protein example: 2 eggs, or 5 oz (raw weight) of white meat chicken, or 4 oz lean beef (raw weight)
Starch: 1 piece of whole wheat bread, or 1/2 cup corn flakes
Fruit: 1 cup cherries, or 1/2 banana
Veggie: 1 cup cauliflower, or 1 cup cucumber
Dairy: 6oz fat free or plain yogurt
Fat: 2 tbsp avocado, or 1/2 tbsp peanut butter, or (not to exceed 3 times a week) 1/2 oz pistachios (which works out to 8 pistachios LOL)
Free exchange is stuff like 1/2 cup pasta sauce, 2tbsp raisins, 4 oz wine or 100 calorie snack pack.
I take 16 pills a day (all natural).
With breakfast, lunch and dinner I take:
1 each Weight management, which has green tea leaf extract and caffeine in it.
1 each Chromagic, which has biotin, chromium. and vitamin B6. This supports healthy glucose metabolism.
1 each Metabolic plus, which has biotin, folate, magnesium, thiamin, Vitamin D, and vitamin B12. This helps to metabolize carbs, fats, and proteins.
2 each L-Glutabolic Forte, Which has l-glutamine, and magnesium. This helps restore glutamine levels and support immune system health after periods of physical activity.
I also take a womans multivitamin every morning.
There you have it! 16 pills.
Also drink WATER WATER WATER!!!! This helps immensely!
You also have to commit to going in three times a week for a weigh in, once a week you do a measure of your inches lost, and every visit you get a booster pill. One for boosting red blood cell production, one for energy and a colon cleanse.
You are guaranteed to lose 2 lbs a week (if you stick to the diet).
So here goes.
First off is the diet. There are a few different programs you can do, and they will find one right for you based on your body.
I am on the QLP-2 program.
These are my portions for the day...
Breakfast: 1 protein, 1 starch, 1 healthy fat
snack: 1 fruit, 1 dairy
lunch: 1 protein, 1 starch, 2 vegetables
snack: 1 fruit
dinner: 1 protein, 2 veggies, 1 healthy fat
snack: 1 fruit, 1 free exchange.
protein example: 2 eggs, or 5 oz (raw weight) of white meat chicken, or 4 oz lean beef (raw weight)
Starch: 1 piece of whole wheat bread, or 1/2 cup corn flakes
Fruit: 1 cup cherries, or 1/2 banana
Veggie: 1 cup cauliflower, or 1 cup cucumber
Dairy: 6oz fat free or plain yogurt
Fat: 2 tbsp avocado, or 1/2 tbsp peanut butter, or (not to exceed 3 times a week) 1/2 oz pistachios (which works out to 8 pistachios LOL)
Free exchange is stuff like 1/2 cup pasta sauce, 2tbsp raisins, 4 oz wine or 100 calorie snack pack.
I take 16 pills a day (all natural).
With breakfast, lunch and dinner I take:
1 each Weight management, which has green tea leaf extract and caffeine in it.
1 each Chromagic, which has biotin, chromium. and vitamin B6. This supports healthy glucose metabolism.
1 each Metabolic plus, which has biotin, folate, magnesium, thiamin, Vitamin D, and vitamin B12. This helps to metabolize carbs, fats, and proteins.
2 each L-Glutabolic Forte, Which has l-glutamine, and magnesium. This helps restore glutamine levels and support immune system health after periods of physical activity.
I also take a womans multivitamin every morning.
There you have it! 16 pills.
Also drink WATER WATER WATER!!!! This helps immensely!
You also have to commit to going in three times a week for a weigh in, once a week you do a measure of your inches lost, and every visit you get a booster pill. One for boosting red blood cell production, one for energy and a colon cleanse.
You are guaranteed to lose 2 lbs a week (if you stick to the diet).
Support
Have you ever tried to diet, and cut your portions so much that those around you think you are absolutely nuts? I am having this problem right now. Although I am getting my recommended 1200 (or just below it) calories a day, I get the "Oh you can have just a little bit more" or "Can't you have a piece of this?". It makes it so hard. I have always struggled with my willpower. Being a Pepsi addict doesn't really help, and that sweet sweet chocolate...mmmmmm.... ok back to reality. I cannot eat that stuff anymore.
I went to Herbal Magic yesterday, and I am down 1 more pound. YIPPEE!!! They are so awesome there. They gave me a birthday card signed by everyone in the office. It offered me well wishes for the best birthday wishes come true for me. The birthday wishes I have are already coming true. Next year on my birthday, I will be 140 lbs and I will feel incredible.
So my challenge: Scott has told me to pack for two days and that we are leaving tomorrow to go somewhere... but won't tell me where. I have to stick to my diet and not fall to the temptation of that cheesecake, or big giant steak.... mmmmmmm.... LOL. It is going to be hard!
There is another herbal supplement that they gave me for occasions such as this, when you cannot completely conform to your diet. Burns extra fat and carbs, so you can have a little indulgence. Hella expensive, which makes it so you NEVER want to cheat. Cheating on the diet is just cheating yourself. I know this.
So I will write when I get back. :)
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 217.6
Weight lost: 6.2lbs
Inches lost: 6.5
I went to Herbal Magic yesterday, and I am down 1 more pound. YIPPEE!!! They are so awesome there. They gave me a birthday card signed by everyone in the office. It offered me well wishes for the best birthday wishes come true for me. The birthday wishes I have are already coming true. Next year on my birthday, I will be 140 lbs and I will feel incredible.
So my challenge: Scott has told me to pack for two days and that we are leaving tomorrow to go somewhere... but won't tell me where. I have to stick to my diet and not fall to the temptation of that cheesecake, or big giant steak.... mmmmmmm.... LOL. It is going to be hard!
There is another herbal supplement that they gave me for occasions such as this, when you cannot completely conform to your diet. Burns extra fat and carbs, so you can have a little indulgence. Hella expensive, which makes it so you NEVER want to cheat. Cheating on the diet is just cheating yourself. I know this.
So I will write when I get back. :)
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 217.6
Weight lost: 6.2lbs
Inches lost: 6.5
Friday, September 2, 2011
A little bit annoying...
On this diet, you don't have to do much exercise to make it work. But I have been, because I am determined to reach my goal before HM says I will. I have been going hard on it, with lots of walking and intense aerobic workouts. The problem with that, is that I get SO hungry. My portions stay the same, so it makes it difficult to not want to get up and eat an entire tub of ice cream. It is kind of annoying!
I finally made it through my entire 60 minute biggest loser workout last night. Usually I get to about 40 minutes and am so exhausted I cannot complete it. That is not the way I am going to reach my goal. I try having my BF Scott there so he can push me and encourage me... but he kind of turns scary LOL! He WONT let me quit. I am limited at the times I can actually work out because I cant do it when Caiden is awake and walking around. So I am stuck doing it after 8pm.
I have been keeping track of my steps on the pedometer as well, and I get very disappointed in myself if I see a number less than 7000 at the end of the day. Last night I checked the pedometer and it said 11204! YES!!
/pats myself on the back
I get to go to HM today and do my weigh-in. Fingers crossed!!!!
I finally made it through my entire 60 minute biggest loser workout last night. Usually I get to about 40 minutes and am so exhausted I cannot complete it. That is not the way I am going to reach my goal. I try having my BF Scott there so he can push me and encourage me... but he kind of turns scary LOL! He WONT let me quit. I am limited at the times I can actually work out because I cant do it when Caiden is awake and walking around. So I am stuck doing it after 8pm.
I have been keeping track of my steps on the pedometer as well, and I get very disappointed in myself if I see a number less than 7000 at the end of the day. Last night I checked the pedometer and it said 11204! YES!!
/pats myself on the back
I get to go to HM today and do my weigh-in. Fingers crossed!!!!
Thursday, September 1, 2011
First step to a NEW ME!!!
First of all, I have to apologize for my lack of proper writing skills. I am a musician, not a writer. My name is Linda, and I have a 3 year old son named Caiden. We live in BC, on Vancouver Island.
In September 2010, I started my first weight loss journey. I weighed about 238lbs and I could not even look myself in the mirror. I started eating better, cut out pop and ate less cheese and chocolate. I walked and worked out daily, and by March 2011, I had lost 37 lbs.
I hadn't felt so good in a long time. 6 years ago I had a huge tragedy in my life when my husband of just under 2 years was killed in a helicopter accident. After he died, I couldn't eat... or sleep. I lost 42 lbs then. I gained it all back and then some over the next few years. I had a baby, and my weight sky rocketed. 238lbs is the heaviest I have ever been!
So in March, things were really bad in my family, we hit a rough patch financially, and were unable to make ends meet. This meant lots of crap food because it is cheaper and easy to make (when you are too stressed to cook). and so began the steady incline of my numbers on the scale... yet again.
Last week, I was standing in the bathroom staring at my face in the mirror, and I said to my reflection "You are disgusting". This may sound sad to you, and I can safely say that I am ashamed at how bad I have let my body become.
I called Herbal Magic and made an appointment for a consultation. The program is amazing, and the ladies in Nanaimo are so awesome and very supportive. I have stuck to the diet (Which is sooooo incredibly hard) and I take 16 herbal supplements a day. I have to weigh myself every morning which feels like so much pressure. I went up slightly the day before yesterday, and I felt like crying.
Wednesday (yesterday) was my 10th day there and I have lost 5.2 lbs and 6.5 inches off my entire body. I am steadily seeing the numbers go down on the scale, and I am more determined than every to see my end number of 140lbs. The date they estimated for me to complete my weight loss is June 12/12. That doesn't even seem like a long time away.
I want to have this blog as a way to get my triumphs and my frustrations out of my head. I want to be an inspiration for my son, and my family and friends, and for anyone else who has ever felt like they were disgusting and had trouble making it happen.
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 218.6
Weight lost: 5.2lbs
Inches lost: 6.5
I CAN DO IT!!!!
In September 2010, I started my first weight loss journey. I weighed about 238lbs and I could not even look myself in the mirror. I started eating better, cut out pop and ate less cheese and chocolate. I walked and worked out daily, and by March 2011, I had lost 37 lbs.
I hadn't felt so good in a long time. 6 years ago I had a huge tragedy in my life when my husband of just under 2 years was killed in a helicopter accident. After he died, I couldn't eat... or sleep. I lost 42 lbs then. I gained it all back and then some over the next few years. I had a baby, and my weight sky rocketed. 238lbs is the heaviest I have ever been!
So in March, things were really bad in my family, we hit a rough patch financially, and were unable to make ends meet. This meant lots of crap food because it is cheaper and easy to make (when you are too stressed to cook). and so began the steady incline of my numbers on the scale... yet again.
Last week, I was standing in the bathroom staring at my face in the mirror, and I said to my reflection "You are disgusting". This may sound sad to you, and I can safely say that I am ashamed at how bad I have let my body become.
I called Herbal Magic and made an appointment for a consultation. The program is amazing, and the ladies in Nanaimo are so awesome and very supportive. I have stuck to the diet (Which is sooooo incredibly hard) and I take 16 herbal supplements a day. I have to weigh myself every morning which feels like so much pressure. I went up slightly the day before yesterday, and I felt like crying.
Wednesday (yesterday) was my 10th day there and I have lost 5.2 lbs and 6.5 inches off my entire body. I am steadily seeing the numbers go down on the scale, and I am more determined than every to see my end number of 140lbs. The date they estimated for me to complete my weight loss is June 12/12. That doesn't even seem like a long time away.
I want to have this blog as a way to get my triumphs and my frustrations out of my head. I want to be an inspiration for my son, and my family and friends, and for anyone else who has ever felt like they were disgusting and had trouble making it happen.
Starting weight: 223.8
Small goal: 185
Final goal: 140
Current weight: 218.6
Weight lost: 5.2lbs
Inches lost: 6.5
I CAN DO IT!!!!
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