Friday, October 12, 2012

Rants

Not weight loss related in any way... But it has been a rough day and I need to get this off my chest.

I have been actively trying to potty train my darling boy Caiden for close to a year now. I never really pushed it at first, I just kind of let it happen when it happened. At first it was fine, he would pee on the potty and YAY's would be yelled and treats would be had blah blah blah... He had a really good streak of pooping on the potty and I really thought he had it, and we would not have to buy another box of stupid diapers again... well until we have another (although, I believe I am going cloth the next time). He has reverted back to crapping in his pants and keeps telling me that "I just didn't use the potty"... no shit you didn't use the potty.

I have always been a super laid back parent, and never really forced anything on him other than basic safety common sense stuff... but it is getting ridiculous, and I am starting to get the attitude from other parents and...*cringe* non parents. I don't know what to do anymore and it is starting to make me rage. I physically need to walk away from him after he comes to me and tells me he pooped in his pants.

Add to it the fact that since this darling child of mine has turned 4, he has become Satan incarnate. He throws temper tantrums only at home (never at grandparents house), will not listen to me or Scott and his favorite word is NO. I am soooooooo over the 4's! Although he is pretty freaking funny.

So that is my rant about Caiden...

My other rant...

I have always been a good tipper, and I understand it is a hard job to have (waitressing), but! You seat your guests, you take their orders, someone else brings out the food, and I sit there with an empty cup for almost an hour all the while you have been to the table next to me 6 times. I wanted to bring half of my dinner home because after all, I am trying to lose weight... but do you come back to see if I am ok, to see if I need anything... to give me the bill even? Nope, so while my son hides under the table to crap himself and I sit there seething because I don't want to waste my food and no one is helping me, I decide I will never return to your restaurant. You are lucky I gave you the little tip I did give you, and I didn't even get to take my food home.

grrrrrrr!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

It's been a while

I quit Herbal Magic because I just couldn't afford it anymore. I have a wedding to pay for now, and shelling out over 400 bucks a month was just sucking me dry.

I got down to 182 with them, and immediately after quitting with them, I went nuts and ate EVERYTHING in sight. I gained 12 lbs back, and now I can't lose anything. I lose something and then the next day it is back... I know that a lot of it is water retention, and I am eating properly again after my month of pigging out during camping and what not. I have my full gym downstairs that is just as hard to get into than if I had to leave my house to get to the gym. Caiden doesn't allow me a lot of time on my own to exercise. It is so stressful!

I have until April to lose the weight that I need to lose. That is when my wedding dress will be ready and I will have to get it altered. I know I can do it. I am renewed and so determined. I am not setting a number on what I want to lose, because I don't want to let myself disappointed.

I have 25 weeks... to lose 1-2 lbs each week. This is doable.

I am going to commit to recording everything I eat on MFP, and cut down my sugar and bread intake. These are really my vices, and I cannot seem to avoid them.

I have felt really alone in this lately, I used to have people behind me, encouraging me and pushing me to succeed... I feel like that has just gone away. So I will do what I normally do, and put my head down and do it on my own.

I will try to write in my blog as much as possible... even if it is really just writing to myself.