Back... and devastated

Back from our trip to Edmonton. I did all the right things, I got a hotel room with a kitchen, we ate out only 2 times (while we were on the road) I followed the plan to the LETTER. I worked out in the exercise rooms and swam in the pools every day. I come home yesterday, and went right to HM because I had a bad feeling, and I wanted to get it over with... 

213.8

I cried. Well cried isn't the right word... I bawled. I am so hard on myself, and I want to succeed soo bad. I cannot handle when the number goes up. I feel so bad for the girl I saw yesterday, I have broken down twice with her. She reassured me that it was most likely water retention, as it was really hard to get my water in while on the road. 

I really wish I could stop being so hard on myself. So now I am slightly behind in my weight loss... and I have to play catch up. I never wanted to be in this position, and I certainly didn't think I would be here so soon in my journey. 

Scott just says, no matter if you lose weight or gain weight, you are still gorgeous to me. How can I be gorgeous to anyone, when I feel like a fat cow. I HATE THIS!!!